McDonalds in Idaho - Free WiFi

Haven't had an opportunity to blog much. Nothing to write really. No internet either. Here's something to hold you over I guess until I get home tomorrow and get back to writing about nothing because I'm bored.

My dad sent my newest video (the one from Comedy Works on Youtube.Com/andrewjrivers) to a friend.



He wrote back:

"OMG! The confidence and maturity leap can only be compared to that of a giggling teenage girl in the back seat blossoming into a glistening stripper working the pole like it's a jackhammer."

The greatest feeling is having someone believe in you. I can't put it into words. It sounds stupid but when you're in a negative environment most of your career where people insult you all day, you start to believe them. To have people tell you "You're gonna make it." and mean it. You start to believe it too. The road has inspired me x 100. Great people everywhere. but I'm ready to get home after 3 weeks and show everyone what I've learned. I've also written like 30 different notes of ideas in my phone which are things to follow up and sort out when I get home. Little tweaks and tags and funny things to think about.

Anyway, here's a reminder to something I think I want to blog about next time. Susan said something in the car about my 4 balls law joke. She said she thinks it will get stolen soon. I was trying to imagine how I would react to that. Angry? Flattered? Both. Hmm. Whatever.

Tonight we're doing comedy in a YURT in Idaho.


"Yurt"

Wish me luck. See you in Seattle soon.

Life

By the way, I had a lot of fun doing sets out in Denver, and I have a huge list of little ticky tacky things I'm hoping to improve on with that 10 minutes. Almost none of it with the actual punchline but just particular words here and there and my reactions to crowd response. A part of me wants to stay at Wits End all weekend and do the other 4 shows so I can get even better.

But another part of me really wanted to hang out with my friend Donny. He moved to Colorado almost a year ago. I think hanging with friends and family is a very important grounder. I finished the Born Standing Up book and it seemed the important lesson at the end was that he was going crazy. He could do a show for 30 thousand people but couldn't leave his hotel room. He was booked for the next two years out. But he was going crazy performing every night. I also remember talking with Kyle Cease who told me of a similar experience.

He was doing lots of college gigs, and he would go on stage and almost as if he were robotic, do his jokes, and get off and fly to the next city and he ended up having a huge panic attack because he wasn't getting enough sleep.

My dad has told me similar stories of working all day and driving himself crazy. So if I want to take anything away from all this, I REALLY enjoy doing comedy a lot over and over. but it's important to break away and hang with your friends or family and do things real people do. It can only help your career too. You can write more bits, you can come up with weird ideas or just enjoy laughing at the world.

For instance. Here's a gem I thought of the other day on the way to play some basketball.

Why do they have handicap parking spots at the gym?

Of course in theory I get it, but exaggerated it could be pretty funny. It made me laugh. So look for me to write that out in the next few days.

Oh. Real quick before I get out of here. I wanted to share this bit I read in Born Standing Up. It was FREAKING BRILLIANT:

It's Easy to be great. Every entertainer has a night when everything is clicking. These nights are accidental and statistical. Like Lucky cards in poker. You can count on them occuring over time. What was hard was to be good. Consistently good. Night after Night. No matter the abominable circumstances.

Thats it. Good day folks. and... Go saints. In the superbowl. Yeah. But colts will win.

Tour Blog - New Videos

So the condo we were at didn't have internet for a few days. (Some bigger clubs around the country own condos and let comics stay there instead of paying for hotels every week.) Now I'm at a friends house in Colorado. but I have really slow internet. but at least it's internet. I probably won't blog much over the next few days. So you'll just have to take these videos as substitute.

Andrew Rivers @ Wits End Comedy Club in Denver, Colorado from Andrew Rivers on Vimeo.

This is a set at Wits End. About half capacity crowd on a thursday. It was fun. but an odd crowd. They didn't laugh at the parking spot joke. So I was like uhh... you guys didn't get it? Ok moving on. Then I kept going on the world vision bit and they started laughing at everything. I even stopped at one point and I was like "These aren't even the jokes yet people..." lol. Maybe they didn't get all of it and didn't want to feel like an idiot, so they just started laughing at everything they thought might be a punchline? Maybe there was another conversation going on? I don't know.



This is at an open mic at Comedy Works in Denver or "New Talent Night" A really good crowd. We emailed a few days in advance in hopes they would let us up. We did some other open mics the day before at some odd bars. They went pretty well and I guess other comedians told everyone we (susan and I) were pretty funny. So they ended up letting us go on. I got a PRIME spot. I went up after a few newer guys and 2 guys doing their first time. The crowd was friendly and laughing at most things. The "talent coordinator" was off to the side and right before I went on he said "They're ready. They're just waiting for somebody to tell some jokes."

So I went on and did pretty well. Except I was pissed I did some stupid dance. I gotta be honest. I was really nervous. More nervous than doing a 30 minute set. Doing a 5 minute set at a huge club in a big city. Just wanted to put my best foot forward. Anyway, I think the dance came from nervousness, I've kinda did it shortly at the wits end show too. It's pissing me off and I need to stop.

Anyway. Thanks for reading. Have a great day everyone.

Tour blog - Day 6 or whatever

So we took yesterday off. (sunday) mostly for the lord's sake and because we couldn't find an open mic.

We did some researching and found two tonight. We went to the first one. This bar was horrible. Nobody really paying attention. Comics one after the other reading off notepads. Terrible. People having their own conversations. Susan got them to laugh a little, I went up and did fine. The 2 people paying attention were laughing so I just focused on their responses and felt great. Every once in a while the other comics in the back laughed a little too. BONUS. We went to the other place. Susan didn't wanna go in because we thought it was gonna be another situation like that.

I went in, saw people paying attention to a rapper. Thought it would be interesting, got nothing better to do and I want to get my set down. I was telling some other people the last few days I've done so well with the 30 minute sets, I feel invincible. I believe the quote I told my friend Adam was "Nothing can bring me down. Unless I wake up with bumps on my penis tomorrow, I feel permanently great about life."

So far. No bumps.

Anyway, the dude put me on. I went up, got kinda a slow start. I think it took the crowd a second to realize I wasn't reading off a note pad and that my first joke was funny. But they laughed at it a little delayed. I just kinda stared at them until they did. I'm becoming so much more comfortable with silence. (Most of my set is greeted by silence, you'd think I'd be happy with it, heyyyy zing.) I'm talking about in between jokes of course. The other day I was at the underground for a big showcase for some of the bigger guys in Seattle. I'd seen a lot of them headline and do longer sets but I'd hardly seen some of their "Best 5 minutes." So it was awesome to see. You could tell some of them hadn't practiced only 5 minutes in a long time and they had so much they wanted to squeeze in.

Sometimes it's good to just leave something out so you can breathe inbetween your set. Allow laughter. Allow silence. You don't rush your words. You don't mis speak. So I've been having fun doing that. The rest of the set went great. I pulled out my old closer about the world vision kids. Because I've been thinking about it lately, because I haven't done it in like 3 months. Because I felt sick of it, because it wasn't getting the same response anymore. Maybe I was sick of it, maybe I was playing to the same crowds too much. Maybe I got more excited about other things. Who knows. I'm really glad I did it, I like it again. I messed it up a little bit, but that part of the brain is rusty. So it's to be expected.

I got a couple handshakes and good jobs from other comics afterwards which always feels good. A few comics later. Susan went up. Destroyed the room. or "Ate the energy" as the guy following her said. lol. Which is a funny line but he hesitated like he wasn't sure if it was ok to make a fat joke. So nobody bought it and didn't laugh. Confidence is a big part of pulling anything off. Anyway, Susan got probably twice as many compliments. Which was cool but bummed me out a little. I want the shine too. Then I remembered She's been doing it over 10 years. lol. I need to calm my ass down sometimes. I say bummed me out. I don't mean like I hated myself. I just mean like "Damn." in a competitive way. Susan's worked her ass off... well... it's still there. but figuratively. Worked her ass off to get where she's at. She's put

Anyway, still feel great. Still no bumps. Sometimes I worry though. I did many things as a young idiot I'm not proud of. Have a good night everyone. Enjoy the day. :)

*One of my friends made some joke on my facebook fan page. because the club we're trying to get into tomorrow/today is called comedyworks. He said comedy shouldn't be work. That's the #1 mistake anyone can make. If you expect to get paid doing anything. You should treat it like your job and work 40 hours a week. There is no easy road in life folks. Hate to break it to you. :)

Random

19

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Site

HAHAH. This made me LOL.

Mostly because of this one question.







I used to be an ENORMOUS starcraft nerd.

Hostage Dance

I need to get this thing down. I'd been writing it a little bit in my head but mostly winging the story as I went along on stage. So I wanted to try and write it and exagerate it and add some funny stuff to it.

I was out in South Dakota recently. Like I said. My Career, Fast Track. Anyway, we had a great show and afterwards this guy from the audience really wants to take me to the strip club. I'm not sure about it. but I go along with it. Cuz I'm an idiot. We get there and I gotta admit, I was impressed. The tooth to tit ratio was at least 2 to 1. Really exceeded my expectations. So anyway, This guy is buying me dances. I'm generally just having a fun time. All of a sudden the DJ comes on and he's like "We have a special guest in the house. Please welcome to the stage the comedian from tonight. Andrew Rivers." I'm like "huh?" .... Who told them? It was a temporary thing. I needed some money. I promised myself I'd never go back.

But it turns out, they wanted to give me their VIP dance. They called it "The Hostage Dance." Now. That sounds bad, because it is. So what happens next, they sit me down in this chair and handcuff me to it. Three of their hottest dancers come out and start dancing on me. I'm talking full set of teeth. Barely any needle marks. VIP treatment. Next thing I know they pull my shirt over my head and blindfold me. They grab my pants and pull them up. Not up like Urkel. but like UP. Away from my body. Again. I'm thinking, What's going on? I didn't sign up for a handjob. Which. If I had thought about it for more than ten seconds. It's called a hostage dance. Iraqi Hostage's don't get handjobs. That's stupid. So then they take a big pitcher of ice and pour it down my pants.

Which. I don't know if it's a South Dakota thing or what... I don't know why anyone would sign up for that. I go to the strip club because I like the warm happy feeling down there. Not the cold shivering turtle goes back in his shell feeling.

-

Anyway. That's all I can really think of. It feels so anti climatic. I need a bigger punchline to wrap the story up at the end. I'll think of something.

Got 30 minutes to waste?

Andrew Rivers 30 Minute Set in Cheyenne, Wyoming 1/30/10 from Andrew Rivers on Vimeo.

I'm in the fast lane, you can hear my tires burnin.