Retired Joke of the Day

Here's the deal folks.

I'm going to retire ONE joke per day from my act. Not my current act, idiots. The good shit took a long time to get to. (but for the right price... hey I'll write better shit. lol.)

Anyway. These are old crappy jokes. Some of them got great responses but were just 'easy". Some I could never figure out how to get a response I wanted. Some are somewhere between. They could all be had for cheap if you really want one of the good ones or think you can do better with the sitty ones go ahead and try to figure it out. I won't tell anybody. BID with Confidence. lol.

I hope this also gives you an insight into just how much my act has transformed over the year. I hope it forces me to keep writing and transforming, so one day I can sell some of these better than average jokes I'm currently using. (better than average in my opinion and a few others.) I'm hoping this experiment helps me by studying my transformation and finding a common voice in the older and newer things. Even though I'm still not sure what that means.

To start it off. Here's a retired joke I may be tempted to un retire for summer. Although I doubt I will. It usually killed as my opener. but once in a while got some groans.

"Boy it's hot out today. The AC is broken in my apartment, so I just had 2 fans blowing on me. I barely got to sleep. Their names were Vanessa and Jessica."

That was day 1. Check out my facebook fan page. Facebook.com/andrewriversshouldquit. Like it if you like it, tell me it sucks. Offer an idea to make it work. Tell me how hacky it was. Whatever you want to say. It's retired. You can't hurt my feelings. :)

Sound fun? ok Do it!

Also. Here's a weird idea Adam NorWest and I thought of. Act writing service. For a good fee. We'll write you 10 minutes of new material. We did it one time for a girl (for free :( Adam was trying to get laid. What else is new.) She had never done comedy before. We wrote a shit ton of original jokes for her. She did a few open mics and then never did it again. But she KILLED. We were like. Man. We should offer this to other comedians who need it. *shrug*

Whatever. But mostly just buy my old shit. lol. I got kids to feed.