Why do you do this?

Any comics out there care to answer the question? Why do you do this? What drove you? What made you spend every night working harder? What continues to drive you?

Even the half serious answers like "I don't have any other skills" are acceptable since I would claim that as one of mine.

The reason I ask is pretty simple.

I was at a show recently and someone said "You're probably the hardest working comic in Seattle."

How do I answer that? The more thought I gave it. The more I realized he meant "hardest working semi new guy" I don't think he was saying I work harder than Upton, Kermit, Gabe, Susan, Crowe etc etc any of Seattles big headliners. but I discussed it with a friend. We decided I'm probably just outside of the top 5 features in Seattle, and easily in the Top 10 somewhere in terms of my act and skill level.

Anyway. The guy kept talking me up (and my bullshit detector didn't go off. So it seemed pretty genuine.) he said "I think you get everything you deserve. While I was out drinking every night, you were in buttfuck, Montana doing shows with Susan and getting on stage every night. You work really hard and nobody can take any credit away from you."

I'm not sure it's the exact words but its all the same. The point I'm making is this. I think. If you KNOW the key to becoming a "mildly successful feature act" in Seattle is a one year of busting your ass. You have right in front of you what you yourself deem to be a shining example of how a little hustle can pay off. Why don't you do it?

Let me use a different scenario. Kanye made songs about "Conflict Diamonds" and how he felt bad buying big chains because he knew little black kids in africa die for the diamonds. but then he still did it. So how bad does he really feel?

Working out. I used to hate it. I knew it was good for my body. but I still didn't want to put the work in. When I started seeing results from working hard in comedy. I realized. Hey. It's not that hard to "Just Do It" (c) Nike. Eventually you get better on accident. Broken clock style. Now I'm working out regularly and starting to see (tiny) results and I start to gain confidence in anything I want to do. I know a little bit of hard work. I currently don't have anything on my to do list now. (except some women but those take lots of work, and lots of chocolate and lots of luck and other stuff I don't know yet.)

Maybe this guy who knows he could work hard and be a better comic or more towards what he wants, but he just doesn't want to?

I guess it's like either take it seriously or just quit. Let me get the stage time. We don't need 60 people at every open mic fighting for 3 minutes. How about 30 fighting for 6 minutes?

If you want to be successful. Then TRY. If you KNOW for the last couple years. You've dinked around and not made much progress. Stop DINKING around. Or just quit.

Why do I do this? I don't feel like I have any choice. I wasn't really good at the film thing. I didn't have a desire to be good at the video editing thing. I didn't want to be the guy that sat at a computer for 8 hours a day looking outside at how sunny it is.

I'm not really good at much else. I don't really have a desire to learn to be good at anything else. I didn't want to be one of those 30 year old taco bell managers that I make fun of when I go there. I guess I felt like this was the easiest way to make some money respectably.

Motivation for me was pure impulsive ignorance. I had a few people in my ear telling me it would take 5 years to get anywhere. but for some reason. I just didn't believe them. The thing is. If I HAD listened to them, it would have taken me 5 years. I wanted to make money at 6 months in. I remember being drunk in a bar next to giggles talking to another comic like "I've got 3 months of unemployment left. I think I can do it." Thankfully unemployment got extended a few extra months years. but now I'm about to run out and I won't need it if my calendar stays decently full. I'll be broke. but that adds character.

The thing that kept me going was always feeling like I was right around to corner from the hump. I was. I just didn't know there were multiple humps to get over. I also was conceited and thought I was more talented than these other guys performing. I just didn't have the experience. Im humble enough to say top 10 feature in seattle is a good spot but I still believe the only thing separating me from the pack is experience.

And at the rate I'm going, it shouldn't be too long. Which is why I can't believe this guy who seems to have figured it out would seemingly admit defeat and not go after it TODAY. *shrug* I can't make better decisions for other people. but I can write a passive aggressive blog about it. Maybe it will inspire someone one day. I wish I was good with words. Maybe I'll start my own bootcamp. $25 entry fee. I can't offer Kyle type connections. but I can do the motivational speaking thing. I guess that's what my blog is until I get famous. I never wanted to admit it. but a couple months ago way back when some kid told me I inspired him on my blog. I hoped he would have stuck with it and tried as hard as me and get famous and be like I read Andrew Rivers blog. lol.

By the way. If you care to answer. A short sentence is fine with me, a couple words, a short well known phrase. You don't have to go write the rough draft of your introduction to your new book like I do every time I hit publish. I just like to repeat things over and over because I feel like I suck at writing blogs and I have to explain things to people because I'm either really really smart or I'm really really stupid.

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Here's another weird thing. Can you tell if your kid is smart right away? My dad said he knew from an early age that I was more aware than the average kid and that he could tell I would grow up to be very smart. Part of me can see being a brilliant child (because I'm conceited. lol) part of me calls bullshit. I was "aware" that I was about to shit my pants? I dunno. Maybe it's one of those speeches every dad gives his kid.